If you are hurting from the loss of a child or loved one, it is my hope and prayer that these Scriptures will comfort you, and that God will use them to sustain you.
If you have not accepted Jesus Christ as your Savior, let me encourage you to search your heart and make that choice. I do not know how anyone can go through such heartache and retain any sanity without the peace and love of God carrying them through it.
“And we know that all things work together for good to those who love God, to those who are called according to His purpose.” Romans 8:28
“For I am persuaded that neither death nor life, nor angels nor principalities nor powers, nor things present nor things to come, nor height nor depth, nor any other created thing, shall be able to separate us from the love of God which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.” Romans 8:38
God’s Word sustained me through the darkest times of my grief, and continues to on a daily basis. I have clung to Scripture for comfort and prayed for that peace that passes all understanding (and yes, it DOES exist!). Claim the promises the Bible gives us, and lay all of your hurt on the shoulders of the Father. There is nothing our God cannot do including healing the pain and hurt your heart is going through.
I know how literally consuming grief can be and is, especially in the beginning. It does get easier with lots of time and prayer. But know this – there is a REASON you are still alive. God is not finished with you yet or He would have taken you home. I lay in the hospital the night our daughter died and prayed with all my heart for understanding – I wanted to die too. I did not feel I could go on or even keep breathing the heartache was so suffocating. I thought I had committed some sin that had caused her death. This is not true – bad things happen because we are IN the world, even though we are not OF the world as Believers. Life will keep on going and it will drag you with it whether you want it to or not. You have to make a decision to allow God to help you work through your grief and show you how to pick up the pieces of your life and go on.
“Now this is the confidence we have in Him, that if we ask anything according to His will, He hears us. And if we know that He hears us, whatever we ask, we know that we have the petition that we have asked of Him.”
I John 5:14-15
Let me reiterate what I said in the previous account of our daughter’s death. I believe our daughter’s life had purpose, and that whatever that purpose was, she fulfilled it in the 9 months I carried her. I believe our daughter was carried into the presence of God the Father at the moment of her death. I do believe babies have a soul from the moment of conception and that God’s Word teaches this. I do not believe that because a child was not born alive, it means they are not a PERSON. The Bible says God knew us from the very moment we were conceived and knew everything we were to go through in our life.
“For You formed my inward parts, You covered me in my mother’s womb. I will praise You, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made; Marvelous are Your works, And that my soul knows very well. My frame was not hidden from You, When I was made in secret, And skillfully wrought in the lowest parts of the earth, Your eyes saw my substance, being yet unformed. And in Your book they were all written, The days fashioned for me, When as yet there were none of them.” Psalm 139:13-16
“Blessed are those who mourn, for they shall be comforted.” Matthew 5:4
I certainly didn’t feel blessed because I was mourning. I started taking a hard look at the last part of the verse: “for they shall be comforted.” That means God will provide comfort when you’re hurting so badly you feel like you can’t take another breath. He will sustain you and carry you through this time. He will provide what you need, but ONLY if you ask Him to. He does not barge in on your life and take charge without you asking Him to do so. If you want comfort, you *must* ask Him for it.
“Yet this I call to mind and therefore I have hope: Because of the Lord’s great love we are not consumed, for His compassions never fail. They are new every morning; Great is Your faithfulness.” Lamentations 3:21-23
There were times I felt like I *would* be consumed by my grief, but I clung to this scripture because I knew God’s love would not fail me – it says we will not be consumed because of how strong His love is for us as His children. We are told as Christians we will suffer through things just as non-believers will because of this old world we live in. BUT – we have an advantage – we have God on our side to cover us with His hands and protect us from being devoured. It does not mean we won’t have bad things happen, but it means we have the only One who can get us through watching over us and caring for us in ways we don’t even recognize. This is hope to me, and when you hit bottom, you have to have something to hope for. Knowing God’s love was steadfast and unchanging carried me through many hard times.
“In bitterness of soul Hannah wept much and prayed to the Lord.” I Samuel 1:10
This scripture has meant a lot to me since our daughter’s death. I needed to know other women had felt like I did – I needed that connection. I felt that connection with Hannah – she was barren and desperate for a child. I felt that desperation and longing for my own child. Even back in Biblical times, women experienced grief relating to their children. This was a comfort to me knowing I was not alone.
“And He said unto me, “My grace is sufficient for thee: for My strength is made perfect in weakness.” Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my infirmities, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.” II Corinthians 12:9
If there was ever a time in my life I was weak, it was the days, weeks, and months after my daughter died. To know that God’s strength was at it’s best when I needed it the most gave me courage to take another breath. It seems impossible to “glory in my affirmities” when you don’t feel you have the strength to go on with your life, but God’s grace *is* sufficient. There is power through Christ Jesus to sustain you when nothing else can. You must allow Him to carry the burden – there are things too big for us to handle on our own. We cannot as mothers (and fathers) get through the loss of a child and retain any sanity without His help.
I don’t think it’s wrong to ask “why” – I have many times over the years. But you have to recognize God’s authority and know that whatever purpose there was for your child, it was fulfilled during the time you carried him or her. We don’t understand all of it, and honestly I don’t believe we have the capacity to. But I take comfort knowing that one day, God will hold me close and explain it to me in a way that I can understand.
“Come to Me, all you who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest. Take My yoke upon you and learn from Me, for I am gentle and lowly in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For My yoke is easy and My burden is light. “Matthew 11:28-30
I wanted rest and peace more than anything – I *was* weary. God provided it in ways I never expected and in some ways that I didn’t realize until a long time after. Sometimes a stranger’s kind word or a thoughtful gesture meant so much to me and brought me comfort. Not everyone said the right things, but there were a lot of people who did – just by being there when I needed them and knowing they cared.
“The Lord is near to those who are broken-hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.” Psalm 34:18
Praise God that He is close to those who are suffering. He knows the pain we’re going through and He keeps us from being consumed by it. I know without a doubt that had it not been for the grace of God, I would have come through my daughter’s death a bitter and downtrodden woman. But through His love and compassion, He saved me from being crushed by the weight of the burden I carried. My heart still aches for my baby and it’s been seven years since she died – the ache has dulled some with time, but I don’t believe it will ever go away completely. I still cry at times talking about her, but I rest in the knowledge that God is near and will continue to carry me if I allow Him to. It’s a choice – a conscious decision you have to make. You have to acknowledge that you need help getting through it, and God is the only answer.
“For God has not given us a spirit of fear, but of power and love and of a sound mind.” II Timothy 1:7
Satan will use times of grief to wage war on the Believer’s mind. It truly IS a battle for your mind. Recognize that God is not the author of confusion, nor does He give us irrational thoughts. Those things do not come from the Father. A sound mind is a blessing you can claim with this Scripture.
“And if children, then heirs–heirs of God and joint heirs with Christ, if indeed we suffer with Him, that we may also be glorified together. For I consider that the sufferings of this present time are not worthy to be compared with the glory which shall be revealed in us.” Romans 8:17-18
It is so hard for us to think of suffering this way. When adversity strikes, our human nature wants to curl up in a ball and make the world go away. But the Bible teaches us that although we ARE suffering now, it is nothing compared to the glory we will have in heaven. Our lives here on earth are a blink in time compared to eternity. Christ took all of our sin at the cross so that we might spend eternity with Him (and our children), and He will wipe every tear from our eyes (Revelations 7:17).
“Be careful for nothing, but in every thing by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known unto God. And the peace of God, which passes all understanding, shall guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus. Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things.” Phillipians 4:6-8
These are my favorite scriptures – I read them out loud many, many times and still do. I tried to find things to thank God for – sometimes it was just air to breathe. Sometimes it was making it through another day. Try to find something, no matter how small it is, to praise God for. Try to focus on anything in your life that is good rather than the bad.
There IS a peace that passes all understanding. The calmness and serenity it provides is indescribable and will protect your heart and mind from the onslaught of grief that seems unbearable.
“But they that wait upon the Lord shall renew their strength; they shall mount up with wings as eagles; they shall run, and not be weary; and they shall walk and not faint.” Isaiah 40:31
God can and will strengthen you through your grief and heartache. Sometimes when we are consumed by what we are dealing with, it is difficult to quiet the mind enough to allow yourself to hear God’s words. Remember that His love for us is so great – greater than that we have even for our own children, that He will comfort you and give you strength to get through the day.
“Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 18:10
We had this scripture engraved on our daughter’s headstone. I believe when we lose a child, they are with God the Father in heaven from the moment of their death. If they cannot be with us on earth, what better place for them to be. I know I will see my daughter again. I thank God for the grace and mercy of my salvation through Christ Jesus – I know where I will spend eternity.
And what a glorious eternity it shall be!
My life is but a weaving, between my God and me;
I do not chose the colors, He worketh steadily.
Oft times He weaveth sorrow, and I in foolish pride
Forget He sees the upper, and I the under side.
Not til the loom is silent, and shuttles cease to fly
Will God unroll the canvas and explain the reason why
The dark threads are as needful in the skillful Weaver’s hand
As threads of gold and silver in the pattern He has planned.
Copyright 2000 to current by arksoaper. All rights reserved.